My Little Fortress:Teamwork is Magic
by Moonlight Shines
Summary: A mash-up from a teleporter gets the nine mercs tumbling into the world of Equestria. Princess Luna isn't Luna,she's Nightmare Moon. Will they survive Nightmare Moon again,without the Elements of Harmony? Rated T for some language,and might be Rated M as it continues.
1. Teleporter Mash-Up

"Next round starts in sixty seconds. Careful not to fail,that last round was horrible." the Announcer's voice rang over the loudspeaker. "Slacker boys." the RED Soldier sighed as he grabbed his rocket launcher. Scout was relaxing at the moment,muttering something about cake. The other six were placing poker bets,while the Engineer was nowhere to be seen. It was a normal day in 2Fort,a CTF match. The whole RED team,excluding Soldier and Engineer,were relaxing and waking up from a nap after the lose. RED always won,and they lost hope when BLU did. The Engineer's clanks of metal over metal is heard loudly. "It's done,boys! Come an' see it!" the Engineer yelled. "Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Begin!" the Announcer's voice over the loudspeaker was too loud for Soldier. "Why do I always become surprised by that damn loudspeaker?!" Soldier complained,but runs to Engineer anyway. "It's a teleporter to the BLU spawn room." Engineer said. "Woo." Scout said,half-asleep. They simply teleported and a colorful portal greeted them.

~In Equestria~

"Thanks,Zecora!" Twilight said,happily skipping back to Ponyville. She was at the Everfree Forest with Spike,and he was having a bad cold. "No problem,Twilight Sparkle. His cold is going to be better in two weeks,and it's nothing but a particle." Zecora said,chuckling as she rhymed. A gust of wind threw Twilight's saddlebag off,and Twilight half-chuckled and half-slack jawed. "What was THAT?!" "I dunno,Twily." Spike coughed. "Hey,Twilight!" Lilac said,laughing at the tickling sensation. "Lilac Dew?! What are you doing here?" "Nothing,just derping around in the Everfree Forest." the lavender Pegasus said. The wind stopped,and nine unusual things came out,stumbling. Lilac caught them one by one,and put them in a large tree. "Who the heck are you guys?" Lilac said,suspisciously eyeing them. "How does their vocal chords work?" one man in a lab coat asked. "Excuse me!" Lilac said,her hooves poised to strike,but immediately stopped. "Merde." Lilac said,doing a facehoof. "You know French?" the masked guy said. "Oui. From my mom,Lavender Morning." Lilac said,giggling. "Woo!" the headpieced boy said. "What's your names?" Twilight asked from the ground. "We're not s'posed ta tell,but ah'm Engineer,this is Scout,then that's Sniper,the one beside me is Soldier,the masked guy is Spy,the one in a lab coat's called Medic,the gas masked is Pyro,Heavy's the strongest,and the snoring one's Demoman. Now,missy,can ya put us down? Mah friend here is quite nauseous with heights." the one called Engineer said. Twilight heard,and wondered why they have strange names. "You might want to meet the Mane Six. Especially you,Scout. I think the coolest pony in Equestria is gonna want to meet you." Lilac laughed,and put them down.

"That's a human. Why is it here?" Rainbow scoffed. "He just wants to meet you,'Bow. C'mon." Lilac pleaded. "Augh! Alrighty then,my name's Rainbow Dash,the coolest pony in Equestria,and the second fastest in flying,Lilac's first." Rainbow sighed. "Hey,yer not bad! I like how ya design yer Cloudominium." Scout muttered. "Okay,I'll keep 'im. His conpliment made me." Rainbow said,a playful smile tugged at the end of her lips. 'I wonder how the other eight are doing with Fluttershy and Twilight?'


	2. Meet the Bubbly Pony and the Farm Pony

"Flutter,have you seen Scout? He isn't there in the roll call." Twilight said. "He's with Lilac and Rainbow. Lilac said that he's going to meet Dash." the yellow pegasus replied,while flying on top of the eight mercs,who were amazed at the numbers of ponies in Ponyville. "There are more at Detrot and Manehatten." the lavender unicorn said. "Detroit and Manhattan?" Engineer asked. "Whatever you call it." Twilight said. "Well,I think we're at Carousel Boutique. Rarity lives here,along with Sweetie Belle." Fluttershy said. "Heavy thinks it's nice." "Thank you,it's a rare to come by a customer who marvels at the shop,not the pony or the clothes." Rarity said,trotting towards us. "Hi Rarity. Have you seen Pinkie Pie? She was at Sugarcube Corner a minute ago,but the next time we checked,she's gone." the yellow pegasus said. "Well,I think I saw her at Sweet Apple Acres helping Applejack buck apples." the white unicorn replied,and the two ponies thanked her. The eight mercs marveled at the sight of Sweet Apple Acres,with Pinkie's hair uncurled. "Pinkie? Why is your hair uncurled?" Twilight asked. "Oh! Twilight! My hair? I don't want my hair to have apple bits in it,so I uncurled it. Applejack's over there,harvesting the green apples. Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie. Element of Laughter. I'm going to throw you guys a 'WELCOME TO EQUESTRIA' party!" Pinkie giggled. "She's going to be sad if you don't come to her party." Twilight said to the mercs. "At Sugarcube Corner,five o' clock! See ya!" "Zhe pony is bubbly." Spy noted when they went to Applejack. "Yeah,she's giggly." Engineer said. "Howdy,y'all." Applejack greeted them. "Another Texan? Ah think ah like it here!" Engineer laughed. "Whoa,there,partner. A Texan? Mighty fine there,what's yer name?" Applejack said. "It's confidential,but ya can call me Engineer,or simply Engie." "I think Engie has got the bad case of the Gigglyitis." Demoman chuckled. "I wanna stay with this pony!" Engineer declared. "Alrighty then,welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" Applejack said happily.

Pinkie Pie was hanging the streamers and the 'WELCOME TO EQUESTRIA' banner,humming happily. She checked the clock in the corner of the bakery,to find that it's almost _5:00_,it was _4:45_. "Oh my goodness! I should bake the cake now!" Pinkie said,rushing to hang the banner. Baking the cake,she remembered that the frosting has to be red. "Red! It's their team color!" she declared,and Mr. Cake was marveled at the enthusiasm of Pinkie. "Pinkie,why are you so enthusiastic? You're not like that all the time." Mr. Cake noted. "Oh,some special guests are coming. Excluding two." "Well,I think your guests are here. I'm going to see Pound and Pumpkin Cake,they might be in some trouble." Mr. Cake laughed.

"Pinkie? We're here!" Lilac said,searching Sugarcube Corner. "SURPRISE!" Pinkie giggled,and the whole RED team and Lilac jumped,but rolled on the floor laughing. "Oh,Pinkie Pie..." Lilac chuckled,shaking her head. Soldier,who avoided the door and blasted through the roof,was suffering from a lack of a Medigun. "OW MY SPINE!" is what he repeatedly said. Lilac tsked and brought with her a flute. She played a song and in an instant he's like the Soldier which had been buffed to whole point.

"Whoa. Never thought a pony could do stuff like the Kritzkrieg." Soldier muttered,popping his back. "We Pegasi have magic in our wings,but with the proper hooves,we can do magic from instruments and other things." Lilac said,winking on a confused Soldier. "She means,poikah,she already has magic,but she can do loads more." Sniper muttered,nudging Soldier in the ribs. The group and Pinkie started to eat some daisy and daffodil sandwiches. "Heavy did not think that daffodil and daisy can be like Sandvich." Heavy muttered. "You humans have ham,egg,tuna,and liver spread,but we use flowers for our inside. Our bread stays like yours. We make it in the Windmill." Lilac said. "Me alcohol isn't gonna last fer a week." Demoman muttered,looking at his half-empty bottle of Scrumpy. "Did I hear alcohol?" a mare's voice said,and they look at the door. "Berry Punch's the name,alcohol's my game. Scrumpy? Never heard that before." Berry said,confused. "By the great meadows of Ireland! Ye don't know Scrumpy? Ye get hyper when ye drink it!" Demoman said,looking at the pony. The nine mercs noticed only now that Lilac was missing. She came back a few minutes later. "Scrumpy,anypony?" Lilac said,her eyes in a way that anypony could relate to. "Well,I'll pay ya six gold bits fer that thing. Ya al'ight?" Berry said,pointing to the newly-made Scrumpy. "Sure. I'll tell Demoman when he wakes up from his faint." Lilac said,and Berry drank the Scrumpy.

_~A FEW MINUTES LATER...~_

"Mommy,you're drunk again. Let's go home." a miniature Berry Punch said,trying to drag her mom home. "Aw,sweetie,mommy's hangin' out with 'er new pals!" Berry Punch said,in Demoman's same accent and tone. "How much for that? I'll pay you eighteen bits for three of these." the miniature Berry said. "Wait,what's yer name?" Demoman said,confused in who's the real Berry Punch. "Berry Star. Some just call me Twinkletoes." she replied,and Lilac had given her the three bottles of Scrumpy. "And that,Pinkie Pie,is your first drunken customer." Lilac said,giggling a bit.


	3. The Mercs and the Ponies

"So, we have to house one of them." said Lilac,looking at the nine mercs,with a groggy Scout muttering something about a pink cupcake.

"Yes. I already housed Scout. The rest will have to pick." Rainbow giggled, pinching Scout in his arm.

"AAAAAH! I'M AWAKE,I'M FREAKIN' AWAKE!" Scout yelled, almost hitting Applejack in the process.

"Ah'm not tryin' ta destroy yer day,mister,but,d'ya know how to buck apples?" the orange pony said,obviously annoyed.

"No."

The housing made everything comepletely normal. Lilac housed Soldier,Pinkie got Pyro,Zecora,who somehow was passing by,got Demoman,Big Mac was going to get a book at Twilight's and got Heavy,which he would house in his upper bunk. Twilight got Sniper,Rarity got Spy,and Fluttershy got Medic.

IN LILAC'S COTTAGE...

"Soldier? It's time for dinner!" Lilac said,calling the merc from the extra room.  
"Alright, I'm coming!" the Soldier replied,looking at the door,which was modded for hooves instead of hands.

"Uh,I can't get it open,Purple."

"Silly me,it's modded for hooves!" Lilac giggled,and Soldier smiled.

'_C'mon,Soldier. She's a PONY,not a human._..'

'_Jeez,Lilac! He's a human,and my mom said a STALLION!'_

The two stopped,and blushed when they saw they were looking at each other.

"I'm so sorry! I'll mod it for hands instead of just h-"

"It's okay,Purple. Guess I'll just have to get used here."

"Uh,can I ask? What DOES those other BLUs look like?" Lilac asked,eating some dandelions and,somehow,had ham in her refrigerator. She cut it into a triangle and gave it to Soldier.

"Well,they looked like us,but we knew that we might go crazy killing other maggots which look like us. So we got hats." said the Soldier,who was smiling at the fact Lilac got ham.

"And I think you got overboard. Two crates were filled to the brim with you nine's hats,sets,and many,many,many,weapons." Lilac said,pointing to two crates with the Mann Co. logo.

"Hmph. The Administrator said we have over thousands of hats."

"I like your Gunboats. It said it makes you rocket jump higher." Lilac said,finishing her dandelion sandwich.

"Well,it does-"

"SOLDIER! LILAC! NIGHTMARE MOON'S FREE,AGAIN!" Rainbow yelled.

"Why didn't you remove Living Dream from her with the Elements?" Lilac asked,confused.

"You see,we cannot operate with out the necklaces and the tiara. And the only way to get rid of Living Dream is-" Twilight said,flying from a near miss from a missile.

"Death. Somepony HAS to take her place." the rainbow-maned pegasus said.

"I think it's Twilight." Lilac said.

"No,Lilac. It's too big-a-responsibility." the lavender Alicorn said.

"How about Cadance?"

"She's tasked in doing the sunset."

"So someone has to be crowned princess." the Sniper said.

"Yes." the ponies said in unison,dodging nearby missiles.

"Greetings,otherworlders. In the night of Ponyville,you might not see anything. Entrapments are everywhere,and only the residents of Ponyville know where they are." Nightmare announced.

"She's so annoying. Princess Luna is better. Living Dream never said a nice thing about other ponies. But Diamond Tiara is her only friend and those others." Lilac said,sighing.

Applejack looked at Engineer.

'_He's smart in making those inventions. Never misses a single wire. Ah think he's the smartest human ah know. But...but he's a human fer the love of Celestia! How could ah get a crush on a human?_'

'_She's cute and she always assists me in making some of my inventions at Sweet Apple Acres. But she's a pony fer goodness sake! How could ah get a crush on a pony. The others will laugh at me!_'

Lilac noticed the exchange. "Applejack? Engineer?"

"Oh,it's nothin',sugarcube."

"Nothing. Just a looking."

The four had no idea that some others felt the same way.


	4. Tick, Tock

_ Starry Luna's Skies! _Lilac thought._ This is much frickin' worse than what happened when Diamond Dogs attacked!_

Soldier snarled at the night pony. "You. Young blue bitch." he said,seething. Lilac,who hasn't seen the mercenary this angry,has just heard a sound which was,even is she didn't know it,was music to her ears.

_Beep Beep *chrr*_

"Sentry, goin' up." Engineer said,a vicious smirk on his face, explaining the AKM's (Automatic Killing Machine) power.

"Dispensa'?" Scout said,pulling his bat from his back,obviously panting from running all over the field.

Engineer smiled,thinking of Applejack._ Annoying,but def'nitely sweet, like Scout._

_Pinkie Pie..._

Scout brightened,and a maniac grin crept on his face.

"Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon with a Dispensa'..."Engineer heard what he said,and his eyes widened in both surprise and wonder.

"What?"

"Ah think maybe y'all can tell me _what the holy shit are ya goin' ta do with mah Dispensa'?"_

__ "Mm...fair point. Ya see,Pinkie's Party Cannon can launch things far away. So, if we combine the ammo from dat Dispensa'..." Scout smirked, and Engineer understood.

"Sure." Engineer said.

"If yuir done with yuir conversation,bloody help yuir teammates!" Demoman yelled.

"Yeah, right." Scout snapped,grabbing the Party Cannon from SugarCube Corner.

The streamers Pinkie loaded along with the ammunition were iridescent,and Scout smirked, knowing the effect.

"Hahahaha! You fools! You cannot stop me!" Nightmare Moon's voice echoed around.

"Especially if I make a Nightmare one of your strongest!"

Lilac gasped and snarled. "Nightmare Juggernaut...she's going to turn Solly..."

"I am PAINis Cupcake. I will EAT you." the newly-formed Not-Soldier said,almost catatonic with joy.

"Great. He's back." Sniper said,sneering at it.

"I know something." Lilac said quietly.

"Wha'? Lassie, war question: if yuir in a battle, and ye know a tactic, what'd ye do?" Demoman asked.

"I'd tell my teammates about it." Lilac said,and knew what Demoman was up to.

She went up to Painis Cupcake, and smiled.

"Hello. My name is Lilac Dew." she said, and with a loud BONK!, Painis Cupcake was out cold. Lilac was about to bonk him with the frying pan again when she saw the eyes weren't as _abnormal_ as Painis Cupcake's were.

"Wha-"

"Soldier?"

"Fuck..." Lilac said,and the mercs gasped.

"What? Even ponies curse."

"I'm goin ta Twily's house and see if dere are any _attacks_ on her." Scout volunteered. Lilac sighed. She knew that she won't win this fight.

"Careful, Scout. Sometimes things are best be left alone." Lilac warned.

"_Tick Tock, goes the clock, let's see how you go._

_Tick Tock, goes the clock, white flowers down with you."_


End file.
